How to be an Honorary Barcelonesa

When most people think of Spain they conjure up images of flamenco, bull fighting, and suave Enrique Iglesias-type men. While these things do exist in parts of Spain, they have nothing to do with the reality of life in Barcelona (except for the men — they're all over the place and turn the streets into walking art museums).

Integrating oneself into a new city can be tricky, and the bane of my existence is people thinking I'm a temporary passerby in BCN. If I'm not careful in the way I interact with people, they'll start speaking to me in English — which for unknown reasons bothers me more than it probably should. To help avoid cultural faux-pas, here are some tricks I've picked up along the way in order to successfully imitate the Barcelonians around me.

*Disclaimer: The following contains sweeping generalizations. However, they're things I've personally witnessed several times and have had verified by a handful of life-long residents.

Speak Catalan

You know those poor foreigners who came to Spain to study Spanish? Approach them in a different language just to make them squirm. It's extra fun to be in the middle of a Spanish conversation and accidentally switch languages, much to the foreigner's dismay.

Take pride in all things Catalan

Gaudí, Dalí, Miró, calçots, la Mercé... the list goes on. Wave your Independence Flag with enthusiasm and when anyone says anything slightly negative about Catalonia, defend it with the fervor you would use to protect your first born child.

Eat paella

Eat it for lunch, never for dinner. Bonus points if it's a Thursday and you're no where near La Rambla.

Get catcalled

Have an annoyed look and an eye roll ready at all times. If they were unusually creative and kind of funny, wait until you're past them to crack a smile — don't give them the satisfaction of knowing it was entertaining.

Interact with strangers on the street

Don't. It's that simple. Don't make eye contact, don't acknowledge their existence, and definitely don't smile (unless you want to get catcalled, in which case refer to the above point).

Handle winter weather

Wear a heavy jacket and scarf while repeating the mantra "¡Que frío!" at all times. If you see a tourist without a jacket when it's 63° F and sunny, stare at them like they're crazy for braving such harsh conditions (and leave on your jacket despite the fact you're sweating, so you don't turn into the touristy-looking one).

Politely reject someone

If you aren't interested in any further interaction with someone, tell them "te llamo" when saying goodbye. Although its literal translation means "I'll call you," in reality it means "You're never going to hear from me ever again but I'm too nice to tell you that to your face. I'll say this to make us both feel better about ourselves, even though we both know what it really means, and we'll go our separate ways pretending everything is great."

Party

Only your grandparents and foreigners go to the clubs before 2 a.m., obviously. Sleep has no rightful place in your plans for the weekend.

Cross the street

Act as impatient as possible. You should at least stand on the very edge of the curb, but waiting in the street is obviously better. Gold star if you're close enough to traffic for the wind from passing cars to blow your hair back. When you *finally* get the chance to cross the street, walk as slowly as possible because there's actually no rush at all.

Parallel park

See that space that's barely big enough for a Lego? Don't be silly, of course you can fit your car there! It doesn't matter if you boxed someone else in, they'll just give your car a nudge (or five) as they pull out of the spot.